Road Rules: India vs Maine (from 2001)

India vs. Maine

(same for Mississippi...sort of)

In a 2001 Downeast magazine, there was an article about driving in Maine. It then suggested some fine points about driving tips.  Having just returned from India, I decided that a “point-counterpoint” approach might be amusing: 

Maine –

It is OK to turn right on red, after making a complete stop

India –

There are no lights, red, green, yellow, nothing. Just honk your horn many times and turn at any time.

Maine –

Please use your turn signals

India –

There is no need to use turn signals. Simply watch the person in front of you to see which way they might turn. Then, go around them, honking enthusiastically.

Maine –

Pedestrians have the right of way.

India –

Cows have the right of way. Pedestrians usually stay out of the road. If you see one, it is considered polite to honk your honk several times before or after you hit them.

Maine –

The breakdown lane is for cars that are actually broken down, not for a shortcut to the next exit.

India –

There are no lanes.  A breakdown “lane” would be any area occupied by a vehicle which has not moved for several hours or a cow which has decided to stop while crossing the street.

Maine –

The Passing Lane is used to overtake other cars which might be moving more slowly than you.  Please stay out of this lane if you are just cruising.

India –

I repeat, there are no lanes.  Usually, seven or eight vehicles will be randomly stretched across a roadway one-half the size of Route 1.  To pass another vehicle, motorbike, or gas-powered, three-wheeled rickshaw, simply go around them on either side, honking wildly, but with a courteous, respectful tone.

Maine –

Roadside attractions should be visited by using your turn signal, pulling over to the right and moving well clear of the road.

India –

The entire country is a roadside attraction. There is no need to pull over, simply slow down, roll down your window, and visit with the nearest individual or attraction.  The rest of the world will understand and honk encouragingly as they pass you on either side.

Maine –

Horns are considered rude and disturb the tranquility of wildlife or slow moving traffic on I-95.  Please pretend you don’t have one.

India –

Horns are more important than brakes, turn-signals, or gas.  They should be used continuously, though with a distinct pattern or sequence, not unlike Morse Code.  They send a series of messages which must be interpreted by the person in front of you:

1. Hello there!  How’s it going?
2. I’m right behind you,
3. Was that arm gesture a turn signal or are you just glad to see me?
4. Holy cow on the; right, left or in front of me,
5. I would like to pass you on your right or left, so keep your eyes peeled,
6. I am now passing you,
7. Thanks for letting me pass you,
8. Nice car, motorbike, motorcycle, rickshaw, etc.
9. Are you turning or just weaving through the traffic.
10. Have a nice day,
11. Have a heart attack,
12.  See you tonight at the _______________!! –

Maine - 

Road rage is not acceptable and is a clear sign that you have been in Maine less than 3 hours. 

India –

There is no road rage whatsoever.  Everyone is friendly and sociable with a great attitude.  Heavy traffic is a good time to visit or socialize.  Dead stop traffic is always a great time to meditate or practice your deep breathing.

Maine –

Always stop for cows in the road.

India –

Same rule.  But, if you have any snacks in the car, share them with the cow. He could be your great-great-great grandfather.

Have fun and drive safely, wherever you go!

Tom Crowley

Lincolnville, Maine

Upon returning from a trip to Bangalore, India.

June 23, 2001

Reviewed and found good on 3/13/15 -