My 1960's Show

In 1960 I turned 12. I already had a rap sheet about 10 pages long and had been arrested for B&E but they never got me for shoplifting or robbing that post office in Barnegat Light on Long Beach Island in 1959 when I was 11.  I went back and they put bells on the wooden cash drawer for security.  I left and hitchhiked back to Ship Bottom.

In 1961 I was just 13, 1962 - 14, 1963 - 15 and 1964, the big year for me, I was arrested with Danny Ferguson for "Grand Theft Auto" in May, 1964 while I was still only 15.:

1. Springfield Police Department
2. Montgomery Hall
1. May 13, 1964 until July, 1964
2. Solitary confinement - 2-3 weeks
3. 6 by 9 cell upstairs
4. Pyramus and Thesbe on the pipes
5. The Joy of Reading
6. Kid Pyro
7. Runaway girl
8. jeans and jean short
9. slippers
10. stale rice kispies and skim milk
3. Miflinburg.PA - Dairy Farm
1. Ernie & Linda Rittenhouse
2. little girl - went to Penn State later
3. Driving that 49 Ford pickup
4. Shooting pigeons in the barn
5. My own tractor! - International Harvester Farmall Model C
6. Mennonite church
7. Getting confirmed
8. Turning 16
9. horny as hell
10. Neighbor girls
11. Amish girls
12. 
    

CPR (Chicken Parmesan Risotto)

Chicken Parmesan Risotto (CPR)

One night Phil said:

“Arlene? Can you cook chicken?”

She turned on the stove

As this story plot thickens.

She just learned CPR

And she wanted to cook

As the oven got hotter

She decided to look.

Hmmm…looks kind of dry

Oh well, Phil doesn’t mind

And he’s willing to try

She served it up well

And Phil took a bite

He turned sort of blue

This did not look right.

He grabbed at his throat

This looked like a sign

Then she remembered

CPR!  Just in time!

She turned Phil around

And squeezed him quite hard

She thought; “What if he pukes?”

They moved to the yard.

Phil was still blue

And was getting restless

Lack of oxygen does that

And can leave you breathless.

At last, Arlene won

The chicken ejected

Phil was almost normal

New dinner plans selected

Shall we eat out tonight?

Phil suggested with candor

Call Tom & Nelle, but

Tell them “NOT Colonel Sanders!”

  

From Tom & Nelle,

After Boothbay Harbor Visit

with Phil & Arlene Perlman

July 14, 2015

The Last Mackerel

The Last Mackerel

The engine starts in my old boat

Reluctantly, as the hydraulic steering

Kicks in with a bang.

We make our way, the same way now

For weeks. Scanning the fish-finder,

My brother swears its on “Demo” mode

As the blips indicate a fish or two.

We fish with everything we have and can buy

But there are no more fish.

The screen is empty for miles…Then, a stronger image

Appears.  We jig and dip Christmas tree rigs

And finally, my grandson pulls up a fish

It is the mackerel we have been seeking

He is alone and small and weak

We jiggle the hook from his jaws

And release him, fearing he may be

The Last Mackerel.

FTC – Summer, 2015

Off Ducktrap in “Big Red”, our 1972 Beals Island Lobsterboat

The Empty Bowl

The Empty Bowl

The blueberries were ready

The potatoes done

Elizabeth’s mouth watered

Dinner would be fun!

She sat at her place

At the well-scrubbed table

Fork at the ready

She was hungry and able.

Her father was worried

About the rent that was due

The crops had been meager

The season was through.

He loaded the wagon

With the spuds and the berries

And headed for town

Brow creased with old worries.

Through the window

She saw him drive down the lane

She looked down at her bowl

Hunger pains now in vain.

Her mother dabbed at her eyes

Damp eyes on her broom

Then she covered the bowl

And walked from the room.

Tom Crowley

August 23, 2015

Lincolnville Beach, Maine

Prescription: Canis Lupus Familiaris

Introduction:

A few years ago, there was a large dog in the window of a small, locally-owned coffee shop named “Zoot’s”Café in Camden, Maine.  He always brought his man friend with him, too.  One day the man was alone and not too happy about leaving his dog at home.

He explained to me that a law requiring that ONLY "service" dogs in stores had to be enforced by the owners of the coffee shop and that his dog had to stay home.

I thought to myself; What if his DOCTOR wrote him a prescription requiring that the dog remain with him at all times?  So I wrote this poem for them that same day while at The Brass Compass restaurant in Rockland, Maine:

Rx: “Canis Lupus Familiaris”

Prescription:     

 “ Take one large dog, keep it with you all day, sleep with it at night, and call me in the morning”

 

He really didn’t need a dog.
His life was full, alone
But this time it was different
As he took the big boy home.

At first, they stared in wonder
“Who are you?” “Why am I here?”
He wondered if it was a mistake
But, soon, it became quite clear.

They each needed someone, closer.
Yet neither could ever choose.
One, the larger, lacking speech
The other, seeking a muse.

Now both are happy joined
At hip, in car, in bed.
No words need be spoken
Just a touch on a velvet head.

Things change as time and laws evolve

Most dogs are not always welcome.

The separation hurt them both

lonelier than before and then some.

He had to leave the big boy home

As he pursued career.
Depression grew in both of them
Concern grew into fear.

He went to see the Doctor.
He brought the dog along.
He never needed help before,
He just knew something was wrong.

The Doctor looked at the man
Then, down at the hound.
He had never seen a sadder case
He put his stethoscope down.

“I see the problem clearly”
The Doctor said with heart.
You two must be together
Both fail when kept apart.

He then picked up prescription pad
And wrote a single line:
“Take this dog with you everywhere.”
You both will be just fine!

F. Thomas Crowley, Jr.

Written at The Brass Compass restaurant

Rockland, Maine

2008

While You Were Away

While You Were Away…

While you were away, the snow came down

Covering the path to your house.

I tried to clear it for your return

But stopped to watch a mouse.

He lives under the tarp that covers my wood

And I never see him out in the snow

He knows that danger awaits outside

In the form of a huge, black crow.

The crow waits up in the old oak tree

That shelters our path in season

I feed him first, favoring crow to gull

Not clear on my rhyme or reason.

They saw each other briefly

The crow shifted claw on branch

The mouse froze on the snowy path

Dare he take the chance?

It was my fault, having tossed the bread

That I made the day before

Onto the path to your house

I had thrown it from the door.

The sky was blue between the clouds

All three of us stared out to sea

In a flash the crow dove for bread or mouse

The mouse moved faster than me.

The bread was gone, the mouse had won

The crow circled over the barn

I returned to my shovel to clear the path

Thankful none had come to harm.

While you were away, the snow came down

And you missed this winter’s play

When you come back I will tell you this tale

Next year…perhaps you will stay?

Tom Crowley

March 14, 2015

Lincolnville Beach, Maine

Road Rules: India vs Maine (from 2001)

India vs. Maine

(same for Mississippi...sort of)

In a 2001 Downeast magazine, there was an article about driving in Maine. It then suggested some fine points about driving tips.  Having just returned from India, I decided that a “point-counterpoint” approach might be amusing: 

Maine –

It is OK to turn right on red, after making a complete stop

India –

There are no lights, red, green, yellow, nothing. Just honk your horn many times and turn at any time.

Maine –

Please use your turn signals

India –

There is no need to use turn signals. Simply watch the person in front of you to see which way they might turn. Then, go around them, honking enthusiastically.

Maine –

Pedestrians have the right of way.

India –

Cows have the right of way. Pedestrians usually stay out of the road. If you see one, it is considered polite to honk your honk several times before or after you hit them.

Maine –

The breakdown lane is for cars that are actually broken down, not for a shortcut to the next exit.

India –

There are no lanes.  A breakdown “lane” would be any area occupied by a vehicle which has not moved for several hours or a cow which has decided to stop while crossing the street.

Maine –

The Passing Lane is used to overtake other cars which might be moving more slowly than you.  Please stay out of this lane if you are just cruising.

India –

I repeat, there are no lanes.  Usually, seven or eight vehicles will be randomly stretched across a roadway one-half the size of Route 1.  To pass another vehicle, motorbike, or gas-powered, three-wheeled rickshaw, simply go around them on either side, honking wildly, but with a courteous, respectful tone.

Maine –

Roadside attractions should be visited by using your turn signal, pulling over to the right and moving well clear of the road.

India –

The entire country is a roadside attraction. There is no need to pull over, simply slow down, roll down your window, and visit with the nearest individual or attraction.  The rest of the world will understand and honk encouragingly as they pass you on either side.

Maine –

Horns are considered rude and disturb the tranquility of wildlife or slow moving traffic on I-95.  Please pretend you don’t have one.

India –

Horns are more important than brakes, turn-signals, or gas.  They should be used continuously, though with a distinct pattern or sequence, not unlike Morse Code.  They send a series of messages which must be interpreted by the person in front of you:

1. Hello there!  How’s it going?
2. I’m right behind you,
3. Was that arm gesture a turn signal or are you just glad to see me?
4. Holy cow on the; right, left or in front of me,
5. I would like to pass you on your right or left, so keep your eyes peeled,
6. I am now passing you,
7. Thanks for letting me pass you,
8. Nice car, motorbike, motorcycle, rickshaw, etc.
9. Are you turning or just weaving through the traffic.
10. Have a nice day,
11. Have a heart attack,
12.  See you tonight at the _______________!! –

Maine - 

Road rage is not acceptable and is a clear sign that you have been in Maine less than 3 hours. 

India –

There is no road rage whatsoever.  Everyone is friendly and sociable with a great attitude.  Heavy traffic is a good time to visit or socialize.  Dead stop traffic is always a great time to meditate or practice your deep breathing.

Maine –

Always stop for cows in the road.

India –

Same rule.  But, if you have any snacks in the car, share them with the cow. He could be your great-great-great grandfather.

Have fun and drive safely, wherever you go!

Tom Crowley

Lincolnville, Maine

Upon returning from a trip to Bangalore, India.

June 23, 2001

Reviewed and found good on 3/13/15 -