Local Merchant Attacked!

LOCAL MERCHANT ATTACKED ON SHARP’S WHARF!

It was 9 o’clock on a moon-lit night

when we heard the anguished cry.

A merchant attacked by his featured fare,

as Kay Tucker and I passed by.

The scene of the crime was Sharp’s Wharf,

the victim was Lobster Stu.

The suspect escaped in the waning light,

A bloody glove was our only clue...

It seems a crustacean selected

took umbrage with his fate for the night.

So he pinched Lobster Stu on the finger.

As he dropped to the deck, he took flight.

As the wound and the pain caused commotion,

the assailant headed straight for the sea.

To the harbor and then to the ocean

as the lobster, on the lamb, did flee.

A posse was formed in an instant.

They were witty and quick on their feet.

Sam Yorty and Kay Tucker were aided

by a FULL MOON over Bayview Street.

He was stopped on the dock looking guilty

as they blocked, he looked ready to “Dodge”.

As Stu picked him up, it was our turn to sup,

so we took him right home to our lodge.

Rubber bands make good cuffs for a Lobster.

Hot water made the suspect lurch.

We dispensed with Miranda quite quickly

opting for a body cavity search...

As we ended the interrogation,

we saw blood on the left rubber cuff.

I’m not surprised that we missed it,

distracted by a lot of green stuff!

The moral of this true Adventure

will be clear to all but a few.

If you like to pinch, you won’t get an inch,

If you try it with Lobster Stu!

F. Thomas

Friday, August 19, 1994